Abridged 1 shot sagas
by pointer39
Summary: HUMOR - One shots of each saga. Originally...I wrote this first chapter to make fun of some dude who published a 20 word chapter...but I had some requests to write more of these, Chapter 6 Gero and 19 saga out!
1. Chapter 1: Saiyan saga

**_A/N_****: One member of my community told me someone actually posted a legit 20 word chapter? LOL**

**In order to make fun of this, I posted the following on one of our threads, and apparently they thought it was funny enough to post to the rest of FF. Here we go:**

20 word chapter? LOL, I can retell the entire Saiyan saga in the most vague way possible and easily beat that. Observe:

Piccolo killed Raditz and Goku. They trained for a year. Goku hit innocent monkeys and grasshoppers in the head to become stronger. Yamcha blew up. Chiaotzu blew himself up. Nappa got pissed and took his armor off. Nappa killed Tien and Piccolo. Krillin got owned. Goku came back to life. "It's over 9000!" Nappa got his ass kicked. Vegeta killed Nappa for the hell of it. Goku and fought Vegeta. Vegeta transformed. Vegeta owned everyone. Yajirobe cut off his tail restoring to normal, and got his ass kicked. By some miracle, they made Vegeta retreat.


	2. Chapter 2: Frieza saga

**_Chapter 2 Frieza saga_**

**_A/N:_**** Hello everyone, due to a few requests…I've decided to make more "One shot sagas." Based on the same vague and hilarious fashion as Chapter 1, however I'm taking a slightly different approach as things pop in my head as I write this…Let's see if I can make yall laugh again :) This one'll obviously be longer cause Frieza saga was longer, crazier and a lot more deaths…so I will occasionally leave space. Enjoy!**

"HAHAHAHA My power level is waaay higher than yours!" *Explosion, Cui dies* Meanwhile, a pair of weak henchman went to investigate the arrival of the Earthlings…"THE SHIP!" Gohan and Krillin practically insta-killed the two henchman, then watched Frieza and his men slaughter a bunch of Namekians. Three more Namekians came. Three more Namekians died. Gohan saved a Namek child. Gohan and Krillin ran away. "DODORIA! GET OFF YOU FAT BUTT AND FOLLOW THEM NOW!"

Dodoria got off his fat butt and began pursuit. Dodoria almost stopped them. "SOLAR FLARE!" Dodoria failed. Vegeta found Dodoria. Dodoria gave Vegeta an offer. Vegeta didn't give a shit. Vegeta killed Dodoria. Vegeta found a Namekian village. Vegeta killed them all, except for one…but he didn't notice. Vegeta threw the Dragon ball in the lake.

Krillin and Dende went to see Guru. Vegeta found Zarbon out searching for Dragon balls. Vegeta beat the crap out of Zarbon. Zarbon transformed into a hideous freak. Zarbon beat the crap out of Vegeta thinking he killed him. Some weak henchmen found the village Vegeta destroyed and reported to Frieza he killed the last survivor without questioning him. Frieza killed him for being stupid.

Krillin got a major power boost. Zarbon put severely injured Vegeta in a healing tank. Vegeta busted out of the healing tank and killed Appule. Frieza and Zarbon rushed to the healing room. Vegeta was gone. The dragon balls were gone. Zarbon tracked down Vegeta. Bulma thought she found true love. Zarbon transformed into a hideous freak again. Bulma never found true love…

"Call in the Ginyu force!" Namole called in the Ginyu's. Frieza killed Namole for the hell of it.

Vegeta killed Zarbon and Frieza didn't give a damn. Vegeta allied with Krillin and the others. They had all 7 Dragon balls. The Ginyu force showed up. The Ginyu force "Showed off" a bunch of moronic poses like the little girls they are. Ginyu took the Dragon balls and left. Krillin and Gohan nearly got killed by Guldo. Yes, Guldo! Guldo! Even Akira Toriyama couldn't sleep that night.

Vegeta killed Guldo. No one cared. Recoome owned everyone while acting like he just got out of psychiatric hospital. I suggested brain surgery, but Appule was already dead. Goku arrived on Namek. Goku owned everyone. Ginyu brought the Dragon balls to Frieza, and started performing the dance of joy. Frieza gave him a look of disgust. "Ginyu, if you value your life, stop right now." Ginyu apparently valued his miserable life. Frieza tried to make his wish but there was a password. Frieza went to go find the password.

Jeice went and got Ginyu so they could fight Goku. Goku owned Ginyu. Ginyu swapped bodies. Vegeta went to the spaceship and owned everyone. Vegeta owned Jeice. Goku got his body back. Ginyu tried to swap bodies with Vegeta but Goku's brain functioned for a moment. Goku threw a frog into the air. Ginyu swapped bodies with a frog. Ginyu's original body (Now the frog) started hopping around saying "Ribbit"…it was the best pose anyone had seen all day.

Frieza owned Nail. Goku needed time in a healing tank. Vegeta took a nap. Krillin and Gohan met up with Dende and decided to make their wishes while Vegeta was asleep. Piccolo came back to life. Piccolo was transported to Namek. Vegeta was really pissed off. Guru died. Frieza came to the scene even more pissed than Vegeta.

Vegeta and Frieza fought. Frieza transformed and owned everyone. Piccolo fused with Nail and kicked Frieza's ass. Frieza transformed into the ugliest creature known to mankind. Frieza owned Piccolo. Dende healed everyone. Frieza transformed. Vegeta got a zenkai, attacked Frieza and got hit so hard he didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground…they were in the same place.

Goku came back! Horray! Frieza killed Vegeta. Less horray…Frieza owned Goku. Frieza killed Krillin and injured Piccolo for the hell of it. Goku went Super Saiyan and slapped some sense into hiM! Frieza went full power. He threw a pair of disks at Goku. Goku lead them his way and sliced him in two. Frieza got owned by a MONKEY!

**_A/N:_**** I know I didn't do a lot based on Frieza himself, mostly cause I didn't see a lot of humor there…anyways hope you enjoyed, I will do Makyo star next…I hate Garlic Jr., and I'm sure all of you do as well! But don't worry…it'll just make them look like absolute failures. Which is what they are anyways!**


	3. Chapter 3: Makyo saga

**Chapter 3/Makyo Star**

**_A/N_****: Well, here we go… Makyo Star saga, this one (Obviously) should be the shortest one, after all… the main villain is Garlic Jr! Pun intended my all means! LOL! Oh and for the sake of writing material, I will include a bit of their origin… not just appearing out of nowhere. In simpler words, I will mention the FIRST time Garlic Jr appeared. **

**For this particular saga, I'm going to be less vague… cause I don't have enough material, plus the beginning is really the telling of how this really began, it's still vague… just… not as much. **

**As always, Enjoy!**

It all started when the Guardian of the Earth wanted someone to relieve him of his position. Two men, neither human, competed for the job, the Nameless Namek, and Garlic.

Garlic was too evil to be guardian. The Nameless Namek dispelled all of the evil in his heart into a separate being, in order to shrug that problem off, Garlic however had other plans.

Garlic attacked the Guardian. Guardian sealed him into a crystal-like prison that magically shrunk Garlic to a miniature size. Luckily this never happened to his son, he'd be microscopic.

One day, many, many years later… his son, Garlic Jr. (How creative) would seek revenge after gaining his immortality! Instead, he wound up getting beat up by a little boy. Yes, a little boy.

Oh by the way, he got trapped in another dimension called the "Dead zone" too, because he lost to a little boy… So, there's that.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

(Present timeline)

Garlic Jr. returned and imprisoned Kami and Mr. Popo in the same way Garlic was once imprisoned in.

The black water mist descended upon the Earth, possessing the common pizza delivery guy, housewives, and even the Pope into demonic vampire-like beings!

At the Kame house, the possessed group of friends all attempted to bite Gohan, Krillin, and Krillin's girlfriend, Marron.

"Wait, who's girlfriend?"

"Krillin's."

"…how long did that last?"

"Longer than this pathetic saga."

Anyway, the Spice boys showed up. Salt, Vinegar, Mustard and Spice. (That last one sure was creative!)

Piccolo came and held them off. Gohan and his companions went to Korin's to find out what's happening. They went to stop Garlic Jr.

Spice Boys returned arrived at lookout and fought the Z-Fighters. They failed epically and two died. Which ones? Who the hell actually remembers which one is which?

They thought Piccolo had been effected by the black water mist. He beat up Gohan and Krillin. Turned out he was lying and only faked it to release Kami and Mr. Popo from their crystal prisons.

Piccolo was enabled to go full power now, and the Z-Fighters killed off the Spice boys. Garlic Jr. used the Makyo star to transform.

The immortal bastard beat the crud out of all of them. _Hacker…_

Gohan blew up the Makyo star, which is somehow the source of Garlic Jr's power. He was sealed into the Dead zone again, because he lost to a little boy. Twice now.

Yep, Garlic Jr. has a tendency to come up _short_ every time!

**_A/N: _****Lol, well I hope you guys enjoyed that… Next time, Mecha Frieza and King Cold saga.**


	4. Announcement

Hello readers. Just wanted to announce that yall will have to wait a little longer than usual. I am juggling stories, between my adventure story (Appule's Insurrection) which is pending chapter 25. Plus HS Peril chapter 5.

Also, my community (Neo Z Fighters) is holding a new monthly event where 1 author that is apart of our community will write either a 1 shot/or start a new story that is based off of a very difficult plot. Or at least difficult for the person. I was selected to take the first month we do this (Feb obviously) So... I have to do that.

Current priority list:

1) HS Peril chapter 5

2) Appule's Insurrection chapter 25 (Closest to being done)

3) "Feb challenge" (What I'm writing about is a secret for now ;D)

4) Appule's Insurrection chapter 26

5) Mecha Frieza/King Cold humor saga

Like I said... yall have a ways to wait. I would appreciate it if you guys checked out the others though, particularly Appule's Insurrection because that's my action-packed story that I am very proud of. It's become fairly popular too :D

Note that the "Feb challenge" will be uploaded from the Neo Z Fighters community account not my own, but entirely written by me.

Oh and 1 more thing... a review I got.

**My veredict ****2/17/13 . chapter 3**

**It is incredibly shitty. But I bet tons of 13 year olds will love it.**

I would agree with you completely, except a couple lil things... it's NOT supposed to be written well, it's NOT intended to be entertaining outside of humor purposes. If you read the A/N of chapter 1 and 2, you would know that. Oh and if it's so bad, you wouldn't have read 3 chapters. BTW, it's spelled Verdict. Not veredict, when you criticize someone... make sure you know what your talking about.


	5. Chapter 5: Mecha FriezaKing Cold saga

**Mecha Frieza/King Cold saga**

**_A/N:_ FINALLY! I have gotten to this, been busy alternating between real life, Appule's Insurrection and the February NZF special: "Searching for Myself" Which I have finished now… I was supposed to update HS Peril twice by now, and I haven't touched it at all yet because I've been too busy in real life.**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy this latest piece… I'm writing it in a _very_ different fashion, let's see how many of you catch what I'm doing lol. Most of you should… Enjoy!**

Somewhere… on Earth, in the middle of nowhere…

A spacecraft landed, belonging to Frieza and King Cold. The _Sins of the father _had been passed down to the son. They were much alike, a pair of bloodthirsty assholes… who want to rule the galaxy.

Upon the approach, the Z-Fighters sensed them and were scared to death. None of them were strong enough, not even Vegeta.

"PINK!? Men wearing pink!? How bizarre." Vegeta complained. All of the Z-Fighters rallied, wishing Goku was there. Goku wasn't there.

Yamcha was afraid of dying. Actually, Yamcha was afraid of dying _again_.

Vegeta wanted to kick Frieza's ass while wearing a pink shirt. _The Prince's return_ however, didn't frighten the Arcosions.

A lavender haired teen showed up to stop the _Cold Utopia_. Just another _Adventure of a Time Traveling Super Saiyan_. The now "repaired" Lord Frieza… looked like a piece of crap in all honesty; an inventor high on LSD could build something better looking.

King Cold made jokes about him being a "boy" trying to take them on his own.

That "boy" went Super Saiyan, surprising everyone!

Frieza tried to kill him like four times, failing repeatedly. Trunks sliced Frieza into hundreds of pieces and vaporized him.

That, is the _Fall of Lord Frieza_

King Cold foolishly decided he would've lost if not for the sword. It had nothing to do with the sword; that was just for show. Trunks killed King Cold.

Goku returned wearing an ugly outfit. He still couldn't help making a jab at Vegeta's pink shirt. Trunks told the Z-Fighters about the future and the androids.

Yamcha didn't die… yet…

Bulma didn't seem to care; she dumped him for an alien. Yes, an alien… Apparently she's _Searching for herself_.

**_A/N: _Well, obviously that one wasn't my best one. If you didn't recognize what I was doing with the italics… those are titles of stories on this site! I decided to get creative and put them in dialogue where they fit… Not to be funny, but… just for kicks I suppose.**


	6. Chapter 6: Gero and 19 saga

**The Gero and 19 saga**

**_A/N:_**** Hello all! Been forever I know! But I've finally got back to doing one of these, can't say I have a huge treat for you… Gero and 19 are not exactly… funny… I'll do what I can :)**

3 years. 3 long and fearful years had passed since learning of the androids' existence. Their first act, was to blow up Yajirobe; no one (other than Goku) really gave a shit. Unfortunately, he miraculously survived and Gohan had to _waste _ten minutes of his time rescuing him while the others went into the city in pursuit of the androids. While Gohan did this, the ungrateful fatass repeatedly insulted him and complained.

Meanwhile, Gero stuck his hand through Yamcha's stomach. Horrified that Yamcha might not be able to _eat_; Goku had Krillin take him away for a senzu. It had absolutely nothing to do with certain death, I promise.

After taking time out to argue with himself about helping or not like an idiot, Yamcha agreed to come along with Gohan and Krillin.

In the meantime, Goku, Piccolo and Tien were with the androids on an island away from civilization. "So these are the big bad androids, kinda funny looking if you ask me," Piccolo remarked. Well said…

Goku went Super Saiyan, the androids weren't scared, but then again… they aren't people they don't get scared.

Android 19, a poorly designed piece of shit, would fight Goku first. Goku and POS 19 were about even, but the heart virus prevented Goku from fighting to his best ability.

POS 19 began absorbing Goku's energy until Vegeta could arrive. Vegeta arrived.

Bang, bang! Vegeta quickly beats the crap out of him and disposes him as he attempted to run away with his _Big Bang Attack_.

Oh and by the way, scratch this "but then again… they aren't people they don't get scared." I was apparently horribly wrong about that.

Dr. Gero ran away. Vegeta followed. Vegeta lost him. That pisses him off so he fired an energy wave; Gero absorbed it and got stronger. *Facepalm*

Piccolo beat the shit out of Dr. Gero as if he were an old DB android.

Bulma showed up. Gero used her as an opportunity to escape. Everyone went searching for him. Krillin found him. Krillin got owned. Krillin wished he hadn't found him. Gero activated 17 and 18.

17 killed Gero, because… well… Gero is an asshole. They activated 16. The three androids felt that any Z-Fighter other than Goku simply wasn't worth their time.

**_A/N:_**** Finally updated! I had already written a version of this on paper (Didn't have laptop with me) and I sort of don't have that paper anymore… and had to write it again… which was quite unmotivating (That isn't even a word but wth) … but at least it's finally out, hope you all enjoyed.**


	7. Chapter 7: Android 17 & 18 saga

**Abridged Humor saga 17/18 saga**

**_A/N: _****LONG time since I updated huh? Considering how these always take time out of ONE to TWO days to do, only taking somewhat long time to figure out how to phrase the events in the best and most humorous way I can think of… there still isn't really an excuse. These are really easy to update, sorry for the wait.**

**Nonetheless, enjoy!**

Gero did it, he activated android 17 and 18! Victory at last! Right? 17 shoved his hand through Gero's chest, decapitated him and then crushed the doc's head lying on the ground.

I guess not…

The doctor's calculations were all correct, well… except the part about trusting 17 not to kill him for deactivating him and 18 and deciding to leave them in that contraption for eternity while he also became an android and built POS 19 to rule the world, but things didn't work out and now he needed there help to kill a bunch of Z-Fighters outside the lab, none of which are Goku… the one they're programmed to kill… Yeah… he should've spent more time thinking about this…

They decided to activate 16.

"He's big… really big. And he's ugly too!" Krillin stated in horror.

* * *

A moment to take a look at why Krillin's so freaked out…

_16's measurables_

_Height - Five Krillins_

_Weight - Twenty Krillins_

_Hair color - At least he has one_

_Eye color - Lifeless blue_

Oh, that explains why.

* * *

Trunks was angry, he went Super Saiyan and blew the whole lab up out of fear. It accomplished: 17 was undamaged. 18 was undamaged. 16 was undamaged. Baby Cell inside his tank in the ruins of the lab was minorly annoyed. The computer that takes care of Baby Cell was undamaged and operational. Great work Trunks.

The androids left. Vegeta was pissed and chased them down. Vegeta fought 18. "The Prince of all Saiyans will never lose to a piece of junk like you!" Vegeta lost to a piece of junk like her. Trunks stepped in and got tossed aside like nothing. 17 owned Piccolo and Tien. Krillin did nothing.

18 kissed Krillin for no apparent reason. Krillin was in love with an android. Yes, I said android.

Krillin gave everyone a senzu. Vegeta angrily took off. Piccolo followed his example but with better reasoning behind it. The others picked everyone up at Kame house.

**There you are, hope yall enjoyed that :) I promise not to take as long to update this next time.**


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